Money on Your Mind: How to Tackle Financial Stress and Build a Healthier Relationship with Your Wallet

Let’s be real: between rent hikes, avocado toast jokes, and "treat yourself" culture, managing money these days feels like trying to keep your phone alive without a charger—stressful, unpredictable, and always running low.

With the rising cost of living and wage freezes, it’s hard not to feel overwhelmed. But here’s the thing: even in this economy, your relationship with money matters.

Ever caught yourself thinking, "I’m just bad with money" or "I’ll never get ahead"? These thoughts—known as “money blocks” or a “scarcity mindset”—can hold you back from reaching your financial goals, no matter how much is in your bank account. The good news? You can train your brain to unlearn them and start building a healthier, more empowered mindset around money.

Feeling the Pinch: Understanding the Effects of Financial Stress

Financial stress is the emotional strain caused by money-related issues. It can trigger feelings of shame, guilt, worry, or sadness around saving, spending, or investing.

According to the Government of Canada, financial stress affects people across all age groups and income levels. It can also impact physical health, making individuals four times as likely to suffer from sleep problems, headaches, and other illnesses.

If you’ve ever held your breath hoping your card doesn’t get declined, made up excuses to avoid expensive outings, or scrambled to cover a surprise car repair, you know how financial stress can impact everything—from work performance to eating habits to relationships.

But what happens when financial stress runs deeper, leading to financial trauma?

The Difference Between Financial Stress and Financial Trauma

While financial stress often comes from temporary setbacks, financial trauma is defined as chronic money-related stress that can arise from life-altering events, such as a global pandemic, economic recession, job loss, or emergency healthcare costs. Systemic issues like racism, marginalization, and sexism can also increase the risk of financial trauma.

Though financial trauma isn’t a clinical diagnosis, its untreated symptoms can contribute to anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Common Causes of Financial Trauma

• Addiction: Gambling or substance abuse leading to financial debt
• Divorce: Loss of financial stability due to asset division
• Financial Dependency: Relying on others for money, which can lead to codependency and financial control
• Food Insecurity: Struggling to afford meals
• Generational Financial Challenges: Inherited financial struggles or limited resources
• History of Poverty or Homelessness: Growing up without financial security
• Human Trafficking: Financial exploitation or control
• Parentification: Being forced to financially and/or emotionally support family members as a child
• Personal Emergencies: Death of a loved one or loss of primary income
• Sudden Job Loss: Loss of income without a financial safety net
• War and Displacement: Forced migration and resettlement costs
• Victims of Scams/Fraud: Financial loss due to deceit

Signs You Might Be Dealing with Financial Trauma

Financial trauma can manifest in unexpected ways—impacting how you spend, save, work, and even think about money. If your financial habits feel stuck in survival mode, this could be a sign of deeper issues.

Common Signs of Financial Trauma

• Compulsive Spending: Using shopping as a temporary escape from anxiety or deeper money issues.
• Extreme Frugality: Skimping on essentials like food or healthcare to feel in control.
• Overworking and Hustle Culture: Working excessively due to financial anxiety, even at the cost of your health and relationships.
• Avoiding Finances: Ignoring bills, not checking account balances, or dodging money conversations.
• Blurred Boundaries with Money: Struggling to set financial limits, which can increase the risk of overgiving, lending money, and difficulty saying “no” even when unaffordable.
• Scarcity Mindset: Feeling like there’s never enough, which can lead to hoarding and overconsumption.
• Excessive Caution: Avoiding even smart financial risks due to fear of instability.

Understanding whether you’re facing financial stress or trauma is key to getting the right support and developing strategies for recovery.

Why Your Relationship with Money Matters

Your relationship with money goes beyond numbers in your bank account—it’s shaped by experiences, beliefs, and societal influences. It affects financial decisions, stress levels, and overall well-being.

When financial barriers created by systemic oppression are present, they can impact not just your financial situation but your mental health, physical well-being, and overall quality of life.

Key Factors Affecting Socio-Economic Status

• Income Disparities: Wage gaps disproportionately affect equity-deserving groups such as women, racialized people, LGBTQIA+ communities, and people with disabilities.
• Job Discrimination: Biases in hiring and promotions that limit access to stable, well-paying jobs.
• Education Inequities: Limited access to higher education, reducing long-term earning potential.
• Wealth Gaps: Historical injustices (e.g., slavery, genocide) that have left marginalized groups at an economic disadvantage.
• Access to Credible Financial Services: Discriminatory lending practices and predatory financial products that increase financial vulnerability.

Recognizing these systemic influences can help you make informed financial choices and advocate for your needs and well-being.

Shifting Your Mindset: Tackling Financial Stress with Confidence

1. Recognize and Unlearn Money Blocks

The way we talk to ourselves about money matters. Instead of thinking, “I’ll never save enough,” try reframing it to “I’m making progress toward my financial goals, one step at a time.”

2. Identify Money Triggers

Money triggers are emotional and/or stress responses related to everyday financial situations. This can look like avoiding or feeling shame checking your account, feeling panic over unexpected expenses or feeling embarrassed when calling your bank. Becoming aware of these triggers can help you make more intentional financial choices.

3. Set Personal Financial Boundaries

Just like a diet, restricting or binging can create an unhealthy relationship with money. Define appropriate spending limits that align with your goals. Whether it’s a new kitchen gadget or concert tickets, ensuring your spending consistently aligns with a realistic budget helps build self-trust in your financial decisions.

4. Track Your Spending

Awareness is the first step toward change. Identifying your monthly spending patterns, by reviewing your monthly statements and/or using a tracking app, and understanding the reason behind your purchases can empower you to take control of your finances.

5. Find Joy in Your Purchases

Money should bring you closer to a fulfilling life. Before making any purchase, ask yourself if it aligns with your values or if you’re being influenced by impulse or societal pressure.

6. Talk About Money with Trusted People

Open conversations about finances can normalize discussions and reduce shame. Whether with a trusted friend, family member, or financial advisor, discussing money can help you build confidence in your financial decisions.

Financial Empowerment Is the Goal

Rebuilding your relationship with money isn’t just about paying bills or saving for a vacation—it’s about feeling confident in your financial choices and reclaiming control. Remember, your financial situation doesn’t define your self-worth.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider speaking with a professional. Therapy can help you explore your beliefs, develop coping strategies, and create actionable steps to improve your financial well-being.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

You don’t have to face financial stress alone. Book a session today to start building a healthier relationship with your money—and yourself. Together, we’ll explore your financial goals and help you take control of your financial future.