Online Dating

It seems like it’s become harder and harder to date. Dating articles range from “why did they ghost me?” to “why are they all hot and cold?” These behaviours are all marvels that are becoming more common as a result of the online dating and app world.

In this day and age, not only do we have multiple options, we also have to search through those multiple profiles, go on multiple dates, have multiple chats and potential connections, and possibly go through multiple break-ups in order to get to be with someone (that is, if monogamy and serious relationships are your thing).

“Just thinking about all of this and typing it makes me exhausted!”    

So, how on earth can we make sense of this messy online dating and app scene? Think about the following, always with your own needs as your true compass:

• What do I want when it comes to dating? Do you want something casual, to see how things develop, a serious relationship, marriage?
• What do I want in a relationship? Would you be okay with long distance, for example?
• What do I need from a partner? For example: kind, thoughtful, considerate, attentive, etc.
• What are my boundaries? What behaviours am I not okay with?
• What is my gut saying about what’s going on? If it doesn’t feel right, check it out. If it still doesn’t feel right, consider saying no to this relationship.

“At the end of the day, only you will know what works for you. By being your authentic self, others who appreciate who you really are will take notice. It’s more than enough to give. ”    

If you have questions on how to further explore and understand your relationships, it can also be helpful to explore this with a therapist.

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This article was written by Vivian Zhang during their time at Shift Collab.